To my mom, whom I love dearly
8-10 min read
Below is a special Mother’s Day edition of The Smarty Femme. Enjoy!
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An Open Letter to My Mom on Mother’s Day:
Dear Mom,
Happy Mother’s Day. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to see you in person since we’re quarantining in two separate places. This is the first time we haven’t seen each other for Mother’s Day since I got married, and it makes my heart slightly ache inside. But, we’ve never really celebrated Mother’s Day anyways. To you, every day was Mother’s Day, since you constantly felt the love from those who care and love you, including me. Unlike most people, you didn’t need fancy flowers delivered to the front of your doorstep or a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. I know you’re not a gift person.
I long for the day where I can give you a hug since it’s been way too long. Times are changing, Mom. When Yeye passed away a few years ago, I realized how short life can be and how things can change so swiftly. We need to cherish our time we have with each other. When I danced with Opa during my wedding, I sobbed, with tears streaming down on my face. I wondered if this was going to be the last time I’d see him before he and Oma left to go back home, oceans away from us.
When I started working in San Francisco, I grappled with whether it was selfish of me to live away from you and Dad, out here in the city. I know that a lot of people tend to move out at the ripe age of 18 for college. But, I had the luxury of attending a university that was close to home, where I could still see you and Dad every day.
Not everyone had that, and while I took it for granted at that time, I can now see its meaningfulness.
San Francisco to San Jose is only a train ride away, but we went from seeing each other every day to seeing each other at most once or twice a week, if I stayed over the weekend. But you reassured me, and said that this was the start of my future, and that this was exactly where I belong. You knew that this was all God’s plan. I know it wasn’t easy to see your only child go somewhere beyond your comfort zone. But I think that God teaches us in mysterious ways. You may feel that you’re never ready, but God knows when you are. You’ve had your fears, and I’ve had mine.
Thank you for raising me to be a strong, smart, and independent woman who loves God tremendously.
You encouraged me, challenged me, and allowed me to pursue my (many, many) passions. When you knew I didn’t like something, you sought out ways to make it better for me. That meant changing teachers, changing classes, and changing the ways I learned. Some might think that it’s too much and really inconvenient for you, but for you, it was never too much and never inconvenient since you loved me dearly so.
Thank you for homeschooling me when homeschooling wasn’t a thing 20 years ago. It was quite a foreign topic at that time, wasn’t it? Who thought that an immigrant parent, who had no background in teaching and a former (and I must add, rather famous) jewelry designer would be able to homeschool? I remember when you told me that you faced challenges along the way, but you didn’t let them faze you. From facing microaggressions to doubting eyes from other parents, you chose not to dwell on that. Instead, you chose to bravely seek out resources and materials beyond what was needed. By God’s grace, you ignored the naysayers and was able to push through – and I thank you for doing that.
You’ve taught me to control my emotions and exhibit self-control in every situation, even though it is one of the most difficult things to do. You remind me to not let things get to me, and while sometimes it does, I am still encouraged by you.
You tell me that you have to turn your lemons into lemonade, bravery over fear, and humility over pride.
Most of the time, it’s not easy. But with God, all things are possible.
As an adult, I look back and see all the things you’ve done for me. Every little things doesn’t go unnoticed. To mothers out there who have young children – one day, they too, will notice all that you’ve done for them. To mothers out there who are struggling – one day, your children will remember all that you’ve done for them.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you.
XO,
Your Daughter
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